As I rode the country highway
on that brisk winter day in 1974, I couldn't help but notice our speed,
which was about 20 mph.
"You know, it's just as dangerous
to drive too slowly, as too fast."
"Did you say something?"
The car was a used one, a 1969
tan Ford Fairlane with a large red star stenciled on the driver side door.
Several windows were missing. Blankets covered these gaping holes and flapped
in the wind. We were beginning to feel a little conspicuous. The situation
had started earlier in the day when we'd smoked a joint. We were now on
an adventure and in the process could have been considered a public menace.
Still handling the road with great
caution and precision, my friend continued to drive. We stopped at a store
advertising Gas, Groceries, Liquor & Ammo. We needed only food.
I searched for money by dumping
the contents of my purse onto the car seat. Out of it fell an apple, a
book, pliers, and unimaginable unidentified objects (UUOs) of all kinds,
but no cash.
"Do you smell something burning?"
We then noticed a tiny hole in
the car seat upholstery, from which a thin plume of smoke drifted. A burning
marijuana seed was embedded in the seat stuffing, slowly burning its way
to the floorboard.
Our blood sugar was plummeting
and our mirth was rising. Our plight suddenly seemed unintentionally and
hilariously funny. We were sitting in a strange looking semi-blanketed
car, which was filling with smoke. We had little food and no money. As
we collapsed with laughter, the store proprietor suddenly appeared in the
parking lot and yanked open the passenger door, giving us a fright. Fortunately,
I didn't fall out onto the pavement.
"Well, ya got fruit, fire, and
everything in there, doncha?" He had a way with words. His statement only
intensified our near-hysteria.
After extinquishing the fire with
Coca Cola and wolfing down Cheetos that we found under the car seat, we
headed towards home.
"Hey! Aren't you driving awfully
slowly?"
"What? Did you say something?"